The cockroach was entirely and unnecessarily aggressive; and I hadn’t done shit, no disrespect..,

Out by the tracks waiting on a bus to San Jose; I see this roach stalking me, getting-up in my space; so I kicked it away and, immediately it scrambles back - like I took its place in line - but I know I was there first.

Nurture or nature but this reckless behavior stinks of an environment short on resource.., I use the tip of my shoe to kick it away once again, but it’s determined even more than before, and attacks..,

Fucking sociopath; the cockroach defines insanity as it rushes the very tip of the very same shoe.., and I wondered;

How can something without a conscious mind be this crazy?

This was personal - for him or her - cause I swear and am willing to testify under oath, that to the best of my knowledge..,

I’ve never seen that bug before.

Diplomacy appears futile.., I kick it away again, even further down the concrete platform - all the way over the curb and out of sight - and doesn’t it understand the odds?

This is no David and Goliath; don’t even play; I was not the provocateur.., he/she brought it to me.., there’s video.

Over-population heightens aggression and dulls instinct; becoming too vulnerable to the promises of desperate dreams.., or not.., and again with even more drive, he/she mounts its most threatening campaign yet.

I’m missing the sign to give this meaning; like, where’s the high-road.

Now tripping on mutant sci-fi scenarios; I see it re-surface; and with lazer-like focus; like nothing left to lose, charges directly for me.., coming in fast,  aggressively leaping cracks with ease; I’m sure it’s going up the leg; I fear things could get awkward – even ugly..,

Momentarily crippled by a sense of humanity – tested compassion provides for just a pause before the fade to grey..,

Cause I just can’t fuck with this cockroach right now; I’m waiting on a bus - people are expecting me; decisive action needs to be executed; so I crush the beast beneath my heel.

Just too stupid to survive I decide. Too late for counseling; and maybe that’s how roaches commit suicide; they can’t tie a noose or jump to their death; or even die-off in a nuclear holocaust.

And if a society mourns the dead; is capable of shedding a tear over a loss; suicide has to be a consideration.., or who cares.

So many of them, only born to die.

“Hey but what about re-incarnation..,”

“Recycled cockroach?”

“You could’ve just killed-off, turned into shattered goo, your future soul-mate from a previous life..,”

Maybe just lazy.., or the privileged perspective of metaphysical metamorphosis; and it was just the bug’s time. And I, providing purpose for a higher call; serving the creator/destroyer, yin/yang demands; have released your great, great grandmother’s Calico from its karmic crimes - released from a life damned to the darkest decay and reborn as Egyptian elite.

I killed a cockroach; and what, but judge, have you done today?


© 2018 by Steve McNuttin