Page 1 of 5


As the opening credits roll; I’m laid back on the couch, head propped just enough to see the T.V.; producer, writer, director.., but I already know; so I lean my head back to stare at the ceiling, expand the lungs and light a cigarette. The cherry snaps and sparks fly, sending tiny glowing embers up only to come down, penetrating and burning into the nasal passage of my left nostril. But that’s what you get.., trimmed nose hair – vainglory - shit burnt like a motherfucker.., and I’m thinking, that’s just too vague to be relevant in a relative world..,

When these two guys in white suits rush in and tell me my brain is on fire and they’re going to have to put it out before I become a danger to others; and they hurry me - arms bound and eyes blinded - out into the late, late night; my head is spinning but not smoking and I don’t know what’s going on -I didn’t see a warrant - and they say;

“Most people don’t realize it cause - thanks to tobacco money - it’s a stifled statistic but., last year alone, fifty-four people fried their brains while smoking in bed.”

But I was smoking on a couch so fuck your data, anyway! And where the hell are you taking me.., I was trying to watch a movie.

They tell me it’s unimportant right now.

Unimportant? But it’s a rental!

More will be revealed.., they say.

“Now swallow this.”

And I’m thinking back to the time in catholic high school with Brother Octavio, who taught Religion and spoke in Tongues; introduced us to self-hypnosis and held after-school prayer meetings to summon the devil; then pray for god to come and save our souls.

Because of that indoctrination, at least tolerance for alternative perspectives, I was able to deal with the almost embarrassing superstitions of Natasha who has a Masters in Comparative Mythology and turns Tarot Cards for a living; which is helping her - along with certain laws of attraction, and food stamp benefits – pay for the law school she was attracted to.

And then it was like I was transported back through..,

I was transported back through, to that very time and place; ST. Dominic High - it’s the smell that hits you first - locks you in.

Now captured by the intoxicating influence of frank and myrrh that Brother Octavio smoked during prayer meetings..,

But the classroom is darkened and empty except for the specifically arranged yellow light of black candles reflecting mason jars of mercurii urius, while exposing Octavio coming at me with crazy lust in his eyes.

Dude was a pervert, would torment countless boys over the years; the physically weak; the ones who couldn’t fight their way out; or those weak of will, who wouldn’t fight, convinced by perjured persuasion - ate cookies and drank the kool-aid..,

Even Octavio who sucked dick as a naïve neophyte, presenting for authority; been captured, corrupted and converted; too shamed to confess..,

The host becomes the parasite in order to survive as a slave to the whims of dangled desires caressed through the rites of hidden rituals.

Or so I’m told.

But now I was face to face with the truth beyond exploitation, panicked by the foul smell of a cherished paradigm; rocky horrors from the past could not now be ignored, demons would have to be addressed and destroyed.

Fucking Tommy Allen hung himself over that shit.., it doesn’t go away.

So if I had it to do all over again.., I would have to do it now.

Brother Octavio is almost on top of me; so close dental hygiene is becoming an issue. Trying to hold-on, steady my nerves. It's astounding, time is fleeting, madness takes its toll, not for very much longer, I've got to keep control.., escape this goddamn fraternal freak-shit hellhole.., But this time, I would not just run away..,

And I, as an extension of me, with a jump to the left and a step to the right, struck a swift kick to his pelvic thrust bringing his knees in tight.., and despite his ceremonial calls and Jericho Walls; the time warp had left him choking on his balls.

But then I remembered, surfacing between shifting priorities; I needed to finish the movie before I get hit with late fees.

The spell is broken and I’m back on my couch; and Natasha is there.

“I don’t know why you don’t just buy it.”

“Nobody watches movies after they buy them; too convenient.., why watch today, what you can watch tomorrow.., and probably already seen them too many times in rental before someone says, ‘I don’t know why you don’t just buy it’.., wait.., What the fuck!” I says..,

“How did I get here? I have a vague memory of being kidnapped by white suits.”

“You were. But I was able to track you down; and caught by surprise they had to check their liability. We’ve been back for hours.”

“So they just let you take me?”

“I told them I was your lawyer and their next actions could very well make you a rich man, and them, very poor - litigation - they hate that. They got all apologetic and gave me some line about you setting your brain on fire while smoking in bed.”

“Bullshit.., I wasn’t smoking in bed.., I knew they were going to say that shit.., justifying justifications.., fucking liars.., and what, didn’t you think it might’ve been a good idea to take me to a hospital.., you know, see if I was dying.”

“I don’t think taking you to a hospital would’ve been a good idea. Your vitals seemed steady, enough.., and besides, I needed to finish Rocky Horror before you get hit with late fees; and as you know.., with your credit score..,”

“Man, I was trippin’.., What the fuck did they do? And now that I think of it, I wonder how many of those other fifty-whatever, also weren’t smoking in bed.., anybody ever think of that?”

“Yeah, sure.., They said they gave you a pill to extinguish the fire.”

“A pill to extinguish a fire?”

“That’s what I said.”

“What did they say?”

What, you want we shove a hose up his ass.”


“Seriously. They said they put out brain fires with pharmaceutical DMT-Plus.”

“Plus? Plus what?”

“Ant serum and Tylenol.”

“Ant serum?”

“Yeah, that's what they call it.., YouTube says it's some sort of extracted free-radical enzyme that digests the mind.., from the Amazon I think.”

“From Amazon? Man you can get anything off Amazon.”

“Excuse me but.., fuck Amazon.., I’m talking about the rain forest.”

“The rain forest? I thought we already destroyed those.”

“Destroying, Steve.., we’re destroying.., soon to be destroyed for an upcoming fully-automated Amazon superstore warehouse.., probably. Anyway, they said they successfully extinguished fifty-four fires last year alone. But they said there could be extreme side effects to the treatment.”


“Yeah, according to Web MD they include; Hallucinations..,”


“.., vomiting, diarrhea and in some cases..,”

“Fucking MKUltra; implanting hive-mind behavioral control. That’s some Agenda 21 shit. But how did you find me?”

“.., if you experience any of these symptoms, including death, you should contact your.., wait.., What?”

“The cards. Don’t tell me you saw it in the cards?”

“You’ve had a long night why don’t you get some sleep and we can talk about it tomorrow.”

“It was the cards.”

“It wasn’t the cards.”


“No. It was tea..,”

“Tea leaves?”

“Tea bags; I just went out for tea, bags, and that’s when..,”

“Sure you’re right.., I’m going to bed.”





© 2017 Stephen Ian McNaught